exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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