don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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