Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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