I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
