You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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