that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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