I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
