I wish I only lived at night.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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