Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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