that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
