If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
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