did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
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Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
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Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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