There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
