Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
