Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
