I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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