I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
