Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
