HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize