thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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