How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
