Pants 0. Shit 1.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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