# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
