dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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