was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
