It's like God shit irony all over that family
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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