nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
