I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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