As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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