haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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