your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just want to make out with him forever
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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