your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
