i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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