they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
