Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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