okay pat passed out under dana's car
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
