Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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