I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
