I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
