Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
