Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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