Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
