Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
