you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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