I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
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Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
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I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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