we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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