I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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