We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
is this the sara with the beer cane?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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