take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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