It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
