We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
