Someone shit on the floor
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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