remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
