You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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