I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
