she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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