the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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