I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
