ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
sex in a hospital.. check
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
